It's Not an Honor Just to be Nominated.

Not exactly a rare breed even in the best of times, the Fund Turkey multiplies exponentially when the market turns south.

A bear market is a high-powered headlight bar across the top of your fund research pickup truck, shining a spotlight on bull market excess. Tis the season to hunt Fund Turkeys (squawking all the way about investing abroad or in commodities), and thin this breed.

So without further ado, it's high time for our 8th annual Fund Turkey Awards!

The "Audacity of Hope" Award
Winner: Bear Stearns

At the top of the list of suckers for the real estate bubble is was Bear Stearns, the century-old Wall Street investment bank that collapsed well before the other leveraged "Masters of the Universe” suffered similar fates. What started innocuously enough with leveraged mortgage debt hedge funds didn’t end until the entire firm lay in ruins.

But failure's no reason to give up! You have to give Bear props for launching the first actively managed ETF, Bear Stearns Current Yield ETF (YYY). So what did this innovative new fund invest in? Mortgage securities. Naturally.

Bear's final hurrah didn’t last long. In September , the fund's Board of Trustees unanimously approved its liquidation "in the best interests of the Fund and its shareholders.”

October was a month where there was, to quote Martha and the Vandellas, ‘nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide’. The S&P 500 dropped a whopping 16.8% – and would have been down far more were it not for the sharp 1,000+ point surge in the Dow during the last few days of the month. The S&P 500 is now lower than it was when we launched our model portfolios in April 2002. With this backdrop, we’re satisfied with our 27% to 71% since inception return range across our model portfolios.

Stacey Asks:

After Monday’s drop, Evergreen Precious Metals had fallen about 68% since its peak in March 2008. That's more than the S&P 500, Dow, Nasdaq, MSCI EAFE Index, junk bond market, emerging market bond market, classic car market, housing market, and subprime loan market. Okay, maybe not more than subprime, but you get the point.

What's most surprising, and probably the root of your question, is that the fund has fallen far further than gold itself, that shiny metal that comprises the core of the precious metals funds. If you compare this fund to the Gold ETF (see streetTRACKS Gold Trust ETF [GLD]), you won't be impressed with your fund's performance. But if you compare it to other gold funds, you might feel a bit better. Popular gold funds like Vanguard Precious Metals And Mining (VGPMX), Fidelity Select Gold (FSAGX), Oppenheimer Gold & Special Miners (OPGSX), Franklin Gold And Precious Metals (FKRCX), and USAA Mutual Funds Precious Metals (USAGX) are in equally rough (or worse) shape.

As it turns out, gold-related companies are no more magical than any other commodity-related companies you'd find in a natural resource fund. We've just witnessed one of the fastest drops in broad commodity prices in history. The fact that the nosedive followed the launch of dozens of commodity funds inspired by investor fascination with 'hard assets' should come as no surprise.